Four Tips for Using Effective Communication on a Date






Bad communication skills on a dateMost people who are dating can often use some good dating advice.

A date may or may not result in a lasting relationship. However, there are some things you will want to know whether or not you think your relationship will become serious.

Dating most often starts casually and is centered on getting to know the other person. This means that you will need effective communication skills to get the answers that you want. The following four tips are some things that you will want to keep in mind while dating.

Keep Your Conversations Balanced

Some people can talk on and on no matter what the circumstances may be. While there is nothing at all wrong with talking for hours on end, effective communication requires you to exercise your listening skills too.

As much as you enjoy talking, keep in mind that the purpose of the date is to get to know the other person as much as you want them to get to know you. So remember to ask your date questions and really listen to what they are saying.

Some good and casual questions include “What do you think of that?” or “How would that make you feel?” This will give you important insight on their thoughts, views, personality, and general outlook on life. Asking questions can also help a quiet person to open up.

This is important when trying to assess if you two will be compatible.

Never Assume Anything

There will be disagreements in most dating relationships. This is something that simply cannot be avoided. When you disagree with your partner, back up for a minute and think about what was said. Building a strong dating relationship is highly dependent upon learning to understand each other.

After your date has finished speaking, rather than lash out with harsh words, try to respect their thoughts and feelings. Additionally, it is essential for you to never, ever assume that you understand what they meant.

Using reflective communication, ask them something like “I see, so it upsets you when I ____, because it makes you feel ____.”

In this way, you will avoid an argument that may spiral out of control, and you may even gain perspective on what your date is truly thinking and feeling.

This also tells your date that you truly care about his or her feelings and want to work out any problems you both may be facing.

Do Not Give in to Yelling

As stated above, when dating relationships go on long enough, there will more than likely be some disagreements occasionally. If your partner becomes angry and begins yelling, never respond in the same way.

While yelling may help some people to blow off steam, it is not an effective form of communication.

If your partner is yelling and seems out of control, try to remain calm. So long as you do not feel threatened by your date, go ahead and let him or her blow off a little steam.

Then, when they begin to calm down a little, say something like “Maybe we should talk when you can be calm.”

In many cases, your partner will realize they are being irrational and will, indeed, calm down. If they do not calm down, the best thing to do is to take a little walk and separate for a while.

Sometimes, all that is needed to sooth a disagreement is a brief time apart.

Do Not Be too Serious

Unless you have been dating for several years, try not to be too serious with your date.

silly face

silly face—frotzed2 (Flickr.com)

Try to avoid talking about serious issues that will only make your partner uncomfortable. Stick to light, happy issues such as your favorite date you had with each other, something funny you both witnessed, or things you both have in common.

Learning to communicate effectively is one of the hardest parts of creating a lasting relationship. For people to communicate effectively with their date, they must learn to listen, understand and share.

Communication can either build a relationship or end it; however, if you follow the above useful tips, using effective communication on a date will seem quite easy.

2 Responses to “Four Tips for Using Effective Communication on a Date”

  1. jon_shank says:

    This site truly has all the info I needed about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  2. Luise Bristle says:

    Great post. I have experienced a few of these issues as well..

Leave a Reply

© 2012 Communication Skills Training. All rights reserved.